God is SO good to me! He understands all of my short-comings...the nervous anxiety that creeps up threatening suffocation...the frustration of imperfection...the need for approval and worth. But He doesn't just understand it. In His grace and love for me, He gently pushes my level of comfort, while constantly drawing me closer to Him and His perfect will for me, helping me realize His expectations are more important than the world's...His approval is what really matters. And His timing? WOW!! HIS timing takes my breath away every single time.
His steady hand in our lives is easy to see in the big events, but often hard to really focus on in those small, everyday moments. Today, His hand was strong. His will was clear. And, in a quick moment of thought, the years of stress and disappointment all made sense.
My dreams were never really pushed to the back burner and left forgotten. Instead, they sat there at a slow simmer. Anticipation and drive growing, preparation building at a slower but more in-depth pace. Not only was He preparing me, my husband, and my boys, in His perfect timing, He's also prepared the rest of my world. He's created an environment and placement that is so perfectly suited for what I need at this moment and for this moment alone.
What triggered this reflection that left me trying to hide tears in a crowded training room? Realizing that this school year, though I may be a first-year teacher, I will not be the one on the outside isolated from other more experienced teachers.I will not be the only one clueless. We ALL will be shuffling through new Common Core standards that are not part of the veteran repertoire. We ALL will be facing a brand new evaluation system, We ALL will be using new software to perform certain procedures.
Either way, we're all in it together.
In addition to the above mentioned crying...lack of hormone regulation following all the excitement and heartache of the spring/early summer left me nearly bawling over this video. Makes me so proud to be the mom of 3 bitty boys. I can't find the exact video we watched...that was SO much better than any on youtub...but ...
take a look @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StAxfSnpG_M